Let’s Compare: Animals Edition — Jordan Wiseley and the Honey Badger
Lately, I find myself falling into a bit of a negative place and find it hard to write comparison posts that don’t look too negatively on contestants. So instead, I am starting a new series of comparison posts. Rather than compare contestants to each other, I am going to be comparing them to the animal I feel they most closely represent.
For this series, I am starting with my man, Jordan Wisely. While Turbo seems to think he most resembles a chicken, I have a different animal in mind, the ferocious honey badger. If you all have forgotten the video that made the rounds a few years ago about my favorite animal, here’s a link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJF84oz93jw
Small but Strong
Honey Badger looks a bit like a large weasel, and are about a foot tall and 2 feet long not including the tail. While they aren’t the smallest animal, they are tiny in comparison to the animals they go up against. A honey badger will bite a buffalo if it means it gets access to a waterhole.
For Jordan, he is not a tiny guy. According to some sources, he is about 5’10”. However, in comparison to others on the challenge, he looks like he would be easy to beat. This has never been true though. He is a strong competitor in almost anything and strikes fear in others.
Fearless
I’m not sure how you can qualify fearlessness in animals, but the honey badger has the Guinness World Record for being the most fearless animal. They are known for defending themselves against animals that dwarf them, even beating off lions.
Although some would argue with me (I’m looking at you Turbo), I have always seen Jordan as one of the most fearless competitors on the challenge. He relishes the competition and wants to compete against the best. His fearlessness may come from overconfidence, but it sends him unafraid into both competitions and conflict all the same.
Thick Skin
Cool fact about the honey badger? Their skin is as thick as the Cape Buffalo’s. This helps them protect themselves against piercing attacks, whether it be from another animal’s teeth, or the sting of a bee. (It is also loose enough that they can turn around in it, much like someone else’s clothing brand?)
I’m not sure how thick Jordan’s literal skin is, and I’m not going to chance cutting him to find out. However, figuratively Jordan has incredibly thick skin. Need an example? Look at his haircut this season. If Jordan truly cared about what other people thought, he would never be seen with a haircut that hideous outside of quarantine.
Adaptable
Honey Badger truly just don’t give a sh*t. Rather than having a singular den they call home, they will just find another animal’s den and spend the night there. If they can’t find a beehive, they will eat anything they find. Rather than be picky about any particular situation, they just find a way to survive it.
Now, we all know Jordan isn’t super adaptable with his living conditions, and often gets irritable about dirty dishes and the like. However, he is incredibly adaptable with
Intelligent
Honey Badgers are one of Africa’s most intelligent creatures. They are able to escape out of just about any trap, and are notoriously elusive. They also are one of the only animals that uses tools, such as building ladders to get to food sources.
Jordan’s intelligence may not be as talked about as competitors like Ashley and Wes, but he is incredible at finding new ways to beat any obstacle. Look at his elimination against Josh last season. If you don’t think that showing was incredibly honey badger-esque, let’s forget about this quarantine and duke it out in a Walmart parking lot.
